What seems like just a few years ago, Starbucks began popping up on every street corner. This was fine and dandy except one minor problem, with increased coffee consumption people were burning the living shit out of their hands and spilling on their posh clothing. This my friends, was indeed a crisis that needed to be attended to. As a result of this extreme inconvenience, the coffee sleeve was invented (also known as the Java Jacket).

Exibit A: Coffee Sleeve/Java Jacket in action

Anyways, the coffee sleeve came and all was well. No more burns, no more stained Versace jackets. But like all things balanced and content, things were bound to get out of hand. You might not be able to personally point out when abouts the problem began… but I can give you a pretty subtle hint.

You may know her as Paris Hilton, but to the rest of the population, we know her from such personas as ‘that slut’ from the TV show ‘The Simple Life’, or spoiled ass daddies girl who ‘accidentally’ unleashes her coochy to every camera that comes within 10 miles of her. Or more subtly know from her underground movie ‘One Night In Paris’. I highly recommend checking it out.

Anyways, back to the problem at hand.

Paris Hilton is responsible for so many ridiculous fashion movements. The mini dog fashion, the porn tape revolution ‘fashion’, as well as the over accessorized revolution. Many people will deny it, but she is secretly responsible for the java jacket fashion revolution.

As a result of her excessive accessories, a few women somewhere in Seattle decided to take it upon them selves to make outfit matching coffee sleeves. As a result of their brilliant idea, CupCouture.com was born. Cupcouture’s coffee sleeves are completely customizable and can be designed to match even your more homo erotic outfits.
.

Exibit B: CupCouture.com releases the designer coffee sleeve.

What is the really sad part about all of this? This shit is going to sell like hot cakes! Not only am I going to have to walk around downtown Vancouver staring at bimbos dressed like Paris Hilton with their stupid miniature fucking dogs, I am going to have to waste even more energy staring at their tits to keep my eyes off their designer coffee sleeves. I’m just not sure what I’m going to do when I see men rocking the male versions, maybe a swift punch to the jaw will do?

These things will generally run you about 10-15 dollars direct from CupCouture.com. Hopefully I don’t send them too many sales.

What’s the deal with girls and making the kissy face in as many pictures as physically possible?

I never really noticed this until recently when scrolling through myspace.

Do young girls really think that by making a kissing face they are making them selves more attractive?

Or is it possibly the fact that making a kissy face causes the skin around your jaw line to tighten up and make you look less like a fat ass?

Honestly, I don’t have a clue what the answer to this question is, although I do know one thing. It is not cute; it is not hot; it is not attractive; if you are fat, you are fat, the kissy face will not make you skinnier when people see you in real life.

Am I an asshole? Definitely?

Do I care if I pissed you off because you are a myspace Kissy face junky? No… I’m actually kind of glad.

That is all…